Tips to Prioritise Self-Care
Parenting a child brings both gifts and struggles. Caring for an autistic person can present with a number of unique challenges, that can put a lot of strain on the individual and the whole family.
Self-care is an idea of ensuring of your own well-being before taking care of others. It is truly the first and most important step. Self-care is taking deliberate action that benefits your mental, physical, and emotional health. It helps you build up the energy, stamina, and inner strength you need to take care of your family. Below you can find a short 5 steps to practice your self-care.
Step 1 > Be kind to yourself
We are sometimes much harder on ourselves in our own thoughts than we would be to anyone else we speak to. We understand and forgive others for their faults but have great difficulties to forgive our own mistakes. Being kind to yourself means being aware of your own emotions, as well as accepting and understanding that making mistakes and feeling overwhelmed or lonely is part of life.
Tip You can start practising being kind to yourself by making positive daily affirmations or just acknowledging that you are doing your best.
Step 2 > Give yourself permission to prioritise yourself.
It is very easy, as a parent or carer, to prioritise the needs of your child ahead of your own wellbeing. Very often parents feel that taking time for themselves is selfish, but “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Everybody needs space to unwind and time to recharge their batteries. By giving yourself time and permission to focus on your own wellbeing you gain energy and patience to support your family.
Tip Start slowly by planning 5-10 minutes each day for things that bring you joy: having a cup of tea, practising mindful breathing, or simply taking a walk outside.
Step 3 > Always look at the bright side of life.
Caring for someone brings lots of daily challenges and struggles. It can be easy to focus more on the negative than the positive aspects of your day. One way to bring more positivity into your life is reflection. At the end of the day, as a family, you can share your rainbow moment or write down three good things that sparked joy. For example, you might share simple things like a sunny day, or celebrate a day without arguments. Either way, this can help to remind you of the good that’s all around you, even when things might not be ideal.
Tip Keep a journal or send a text to a loved one (or yourself), highlighting something that was a win each day, no matter how small!
Step 4 > Ask for help.
As a parent of an autistic child, you might spend a lot of time helping your child and dealing with services to get the best support your child needs. Parents often feel isolated, overwhelmed, and ashamed to ask for help, but there are lots of support networks ready to provide information, advice, guidance, or space to talk about their emotions.
Tip Join a FaceBook group, talk with your Keyworker about local support groups, or look online for one in your area.
Step 5 > Be resilient
Your child learns more from what you DO than what you SAY. Your resilience, your ability to manage stress, and frustration and cope with adversity and challenges affects your child. To model resilience, share your challenges with your child. For example, if you have trouble with technology, you can use mindful breathing and positive self-talk to demonstrate how these strategies help you relax, find the best strategy to solve the issue and move forward.
Tip Use the times you are challenged as an opportunity to demonstrate that we all have to cope with frustrations and model how to do so.
